TWENTY-TWO NEW JOBS FOR RICK NEUHEISEL - EDSBS
...Neuheisel will need a new job and need one quickly, and in this economy that won't be easy. Fortunately, we have suggestions.
1. Local Los Angeles Cable Access Show Host. Like this guy, but with hair...
...4. Really Inaccurate Running Coach. "Eat whatever you want, and I mean whatever: old magazines, batteries, dead mice, whatever."
5. Barker Beauty
6. Modern Warfare 3 Game Curator and Original Four Loko Procurer for Team John Mayer
7. Internet Explorer Street Team Evangelist...
...10. Star of UPN series "My One Dad." About a guy who raises an imaginary daughter in a desert scrapyard while tripping balls on cough syrup
11. Swaziland's First Astronaut. And its last.
12. Roadie for a fictional band in a movie starring Mark Wahlberg. He will have no idea it's not an actual musical act.
13. New Boss on The Office, Season 38
14. Cran-Grape Mixologist
15. Ye Olde Renaissance Faire CPR Instructor
16. Rival Gigolo of Thomas Jane in "Hung" who's really bad at his job.
17. Recruiting Coordinator, Sportsbybrooks.com...
...19. World's Nicest DHS Screener. A full cavity search, sir? I promise, it won't so much as tickle, buddy...
...22. USC campus loop bus driver.